A World's Full Turn

Well, here we are. It's July 10, 2009.

A year ago today, everything was starting to change. On July 9, 2008, my PA told me she was 98% sure that the lumps in my right breast were cysts. But on July 10, I went to the Breast Diagnostic Center, and had one of the scarier days of my life. I remember thinking I'd go and get an ultrasound and the whole appointment would take a half hour. But when the doctor wanted to see more and more images, and when she came in to do an ultrasound herself, I knew things weren't going to be OK. She had this tense, scared expression on her face. It was a year ago today that they told me that I'd have to have a biopsy, but that the masses in my breast were highly suspicious for cancer.

How does this happen to a healthy, happy 25 year old? I still wonder about this.

I'd like to think that a year later, everything is different and better. But a recent event has made me wonder.

The hospital where I had my surgeries just fired an employee who is accused to re-using needles on surgical patients in order to steal painkiller. The employee had hepatitis C, and now anyone who had surgery in certain parts of the hospital during certain period of time needs to get tested for hepatitis C. Of course, with my new rotten luck, my surgeries took place in the certain parts of the hospital during the certain time period. I spent yesterday in Fort Collins getting a haircut and a blood draw to be tested for hepatitis C.

Fantastic.

I can't help but feel like a small chance is nothing to worry about. The chances of a person of my age getting breast cancer is very small, but it still happened.

Mostly I feel like I just don't get a break. I was getting back to being pretty normal, but now there's this whole hepatitis scare. I feel like my life was normal last year, and now it's all... wonky. I wish that cancer had never happened to me. I wish I could go back to being like everyone else. I really do.

Anyway, the anniversary of my diagnosis is July 16, and that day I'm leaving on a jet plane to New York City to celebrate with some other young survivor friends. Some of us were diagnosed just a few days apart. I hope it will be fun. I'm pretty sure it will be.

More later. Enough today.