Weekend Update!

Hey everyone, just checking in to say that I'm still feeling good! And I had a really nice weekend.

Someone recommended I watch the series Freaks and Geeks on DVD. It's so great! I'm addicted. So I watched a bunch of episodes of that on my cool TV. That was fun.

Also, my sister and her boyfriend came home yesterday with a bunch of groceries. She said, "We're making sushi tonight!" I thought to myself "Great, and I can't have any." But in the end, they were making sushi with cooked fish, and it was delicious! And it was really fun! My taste buds are almost 100% back which makes my life so much better. So Saturday night was a blast!

And today I didn't do much. I did go for a nice walk. It's perfect walking weather. And I think I might move myself up to attempting to jog. It would be so nice to feel in shape for when I do eventually go skiing. I'm thinking I'll go sometime after Thanksgiving.

I'm really hoping that the next treatment goes a little better than this last one has. I was feeling funky for 8 days! This time I get chemo on Tuesday, November 18, and there's a Peacemakers concert on Friday, November 21. I'm pretty much saying that I WILL GO to the show, but if I'm in really rough shape... nah I'm not even gonna consider that. And they play in Denver the next night, so...

I'm also glad that I should be able to taste my Thanksgiving dinner. The timing is pretty good for that one.

I'm a little nervous for the next treatment because the last one was so unpleasant, but I'm hoping that since I'll be going into it feeling good, it won't be as bad as last time. Last time I was feeling like I was getting sick, plus I also felt pretty beaten down by 12 weeks of Taxol. So please hope and pray with me that FEC #2 will be easier than #1!

I think I might be going to Denver next weekend to visit some friends and do some fun stuff. Maybe catch a Nuggets game or go to the art museum. Who knows?!?! I need to find more stuff to do with my newfound energy!

Why?

Why is this happening to me? It's still not a bad dream, or else I'm still not waking up. I think the worst part is, I'm not alone. So why is this happening to so many young women?

I believe a cure to cancer will be found in my lifetime. I have to believe this.

Jen, I'm thinking about you. Catherine, I'm thinking about you. All of you YSC girls, I'm thinking about you. Everyone in the world struggling with cancer, I am thinking about you tonight.

This has got to stop. Cancer has got to stop. It makes me literally sick to think that women are diagnosed with this horrible disease every day.

This has got to stop.

Thursdays

This is the first Thursday in 14 weeks that I have felt GOOD. Hooray for good days!

Today is the Day!

Today is the day that I finally feel as good as I usually do. YAY! I wonder how I'll be feeling in the next 12 days (that's how many days until my next treatment, November 18), hopefully better and better!

It was really great yesterday to go to my follow up and not have to get chemo. A girl could get used to this.

Those really sick days are almost a memory (short memory, huh?); I'd rather live in the moment when I feel well. I know there will be more sick days to come, but today is the first day I haven't needed to lie down and haven't felt exhausted by 7:30 p.m. and haven't needed a nausea pill. The feeling in the bottoms of my feet is back. And the bad taste in my mouth is gone. While I am losing my hair again, my nails are still dark, and I still can't taste that well, I'd say we're makin' progress folks. I went for a walk to the grocery store to pick up ingredients to make banana nut muffins with streusel topping. And my back didn't hurt enough to take any Tylenol! I hope I'm not speaking too soon, but I'm planning on feeling better and better, and the original goal was to be feeling good by Friday. Wahoo, I'm early!

If you'd like a description of what a bad chemo day feels like, it feels like the WORST hangover you've ever had for about the first three days. And it gets better VERY slowly. And for the past 8 days I've had an "icky" feeling that endures all day, which somehow involves a mild headache, a weird tummy, and a restlessness in my body.

Well, it's not yet 10:00 p.m. and I'm tired. I had a pretty boring day, but at least I felt good! I hope every treatment I can be feeling good by the Wednesday 9 days after.

I'm thinking about going skiing at Copper this weekend. Anyone planning on going? Or want to? I'm sure it'll just be some groomers, but I know it's been snowing up there...

YARGH!

My hair is falling out again! This is so annoying! And messy!

What Happens At Chemo Doesn't Stay At Chemo

This isn't Las Vegas, folks, it's Cancerland! And I've been wanting to share with you what exactly goes on at chemo. Unfortunately for my viewers at home, I usually go to chemo alone, so there's nobody to take pictures of the whole process. Because I was nervous and scared to start my new drugs, and also because I knew I wouldn't be getting my sleepytime Benadryl, my sister came with me on Tuesday to keep me company, calm my nerves, and fight off boredom. She also volunteered to be my documentary photographer for this post!

So here's what happens, if you ever wondered...

WARNING: I look like a "sick person" in this post. I didn't really know how I looked until I saw these photos! I think it's partially the hat... and being hooked up to machines doesn't help, either...

What Happens at Chemo...

Here we are, getting ready for chemo. Each time I go, I get my little table ready with all my crap, including water, juice, snacks, my phone, Gameboy, etc. I also get my blankets ready, take off my shoes, remove my jacket and get my prayer shawl (thanks Auntie Alice!) around me so I don't get cold.

Usually someone takes my vitals first (temperature, blood pressure and oxygenation), but this time we got right to the bloodwork and my vitals were taken later. Here, my favorite nurse, Nurse K., is rubbing some sort of sterilizer stuff all over my arm where my port is. This sterilizes my skin so we don't have cooties all over. It feels cold and smells like rubbing alcohol...

Once my arm is cleaned, Nurse K. finds my port with her fingers. She then puts the needle (eek!) right into my port. It doesn't hurt, though, because I put lidocaine on it about 45 minutes beforehand. The yellow thing in the picture is sort of like a handle on the needle.

Then Nurse K. tapes down the needle and tubes so that they don't get caught on things or torn out of my arm (ouch, that would seriously hurt!). Before, they weren't taped this securely because usually the needle came out at the end of chemo. But with the new drugs, I get hydration (saline) the next day, so I kept the needle in my arm overnight to avoid getting poked again.

Once everything is taped down, Nurse K. pushes a syringe of saline into my port. This clears it out, flushing crud out of the way. Then she pulls blood right from the same port, proving the the passageway is clear. My blood will be tested after this to make sure my white counts, red counts and platelets are high enough to receieve chemotherapy. You can tell it's working cuz you can see my blood! EWWW!

Nurse K. pulls two (I think) syringes of blood from my port. Don't worry; I can't feel any of it. Then the blood gets transferred into three separate vaccuum vials to be tested.

Here I am, all hooked up and waiting for my blood test results!

Me again, attached to many things. On the left, there's a machine taking my blood pressure. On my finger on the right side (my left finger though), is a sensor taking my blood oxygenation. (All that usually happens very first, but it doesn't really matter when...) And on the right, there's Nurse K. messing with some tubes of stuff going in my veins.

We got my blood test results back, and though my white blood cell (especially my granulocytes, the WBCs that fight infection) and red blood cell counts were a little low, I was still OK to get chemo. With the new chemo drugs, I take a special anti-nausea medicine called Emend. This is my Emend pill, which I got the clearance to take because I was getting chemo. I take this pill after my blood tests come back OK, and before chemo goes in me. I have two other pills to take the day after, and the day after that too.

Here's a picture of my chemo meds and a pump. The pump's mechanism is still a mystery to me, but somehow that green machine controls how quickly liquid is infused (or dripped) into me. I wanted to show you the Epirubicin, which is red. It actually turns your pee red. Well, pinkish orange. I have receive lots of bags of fluids: anti-nausea medication, a steroid, three different chemo meds, and saline hydration.

Me, hanging out, gettin' chemo, like I do...

Here's my arm, after I was all done infusing chemo into me. When all those meds were in me, Nurse K. flushed my port again with saline and then put heparin, an anti-coagulant, in my port to keep blood cells from sticking to my port. After that, my arm was all packed up so that they needle could stay in my arm, allowing us to avoid re-accessing it again the next day. We're done, let's go!

I hope you enjoyed our educational segment on CarrieHatesCancer today. Please stay tuned, and as always, thanks you for your support!

Alternative Therapy

I forgot to mention some alternative therapy I received about a week ago...

RETAIL THERAPY!

Thanks to my lovely mom, I got two new coats, three news hats, and a new scarf. I will probably have pictures later on... but lemme just say, retail therapy kicks chemotherapy's butt EVERY TIME. I think Mom was feeling bad for me because I was starting the new scary drugs.

So thanks Mom, for brightening my days!